There’s A Problem With My English

I know there is a problem with my English because my youngest son is hearing different messages than what I believe to be issuing from my lips. Early this morning, while trying to get out the door to go to work, after directing him to wash his face, brush his teeth, and put his shoes on, he met me in the foyer with a loud “Bang Bang! Stick ’em up!!”.

The message that actually reached his ears was “Go put on your cowboy belt with holster, your Indiana Jones hat, and a pair of Zaffre blue latex exam gloves (they’re in the veterinary bandage supply cabinet which you aren’t supposed to mess with, but it’s okay this once) and then come back and pretend to be a cowboy with OCD as if I don’t have to be at work until noon.”

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